Out Of Reach
by Elfin Emerald
Summary: Angeline signs Artemis up to be a host for an american exchange student, and Arty discovers a new talent... set after EC, chapter 23 up
1. Greetings, Fowl

(A/N the * mean Artemis' thought, the @ mean LJ's thought that Artemis either hears or she tells him, and I am righting shorter chapters so I can post more often)  
  
Disclaimer; You know the drill; I don't own Arty, Angeline, Butler, Juliet, there Eions. But (Grabs LJ, Erin, Chickadee and lil' ArtyKins) They are mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!!  
  
Chapter one, Greetings, Fowl  
  
~Fowl manor Driveway~  
  
"Artemis, I have to run out for a bit, but I'll be back in.hmmmm. like maybe an hour. Are you sure you'll be okay, Artemis? " Butler asked as his young charge.  
"Butler, I'm not a complete idiot. Don't worry, if the house burns down, I'll blame it on Marcy." He said sarcastically. Butler just laughed. Marcy was the dog that lived more than six miles away. "Besides, I'm almost sixteen and a half."  
"OK, he said.but you know my number should anything go wrong. Don't hesitate to call." he said.  
"Yes, Butler." He said.  
  
Artemis grabbed the mail and an apple as he headed up to his room. Before he looked through the mail he changed out of his St. Barbtlys blazer and into a polo tee and jeans. He had caught himself doing that more and more lately. Ever since he had found those mirrored contact lenses in his eyes he had been more casual, he had spent more time in the garden, had been horseback riding, and had found a newfound interest in girls. (A/N; the way I figure it, he is more content because of the faeries, yet, he doesn't remember the faeries, so he has nothing useful to plot about.)Next week summer was over and he was going to St. Casseria with girls, and although he was slightly terrified, about having to speak to girls... Then he got out his laptop and checked his email. One. From Artykins119, it said "Are you coming to the airport? Don't respond." *The Airport?* New email. Same person. "Yes silly, to pick me up." *Huh?* This time she IM him.  
  
Artykins119: Call Butler and tell him you want to go. Hurry! *What's up with that?* @I do not talk, but one day, I realized this. power...sort of.@ *I'm going, I'm going.* @Thank you! @  
  
Then Artemis dialed Butler and told him he wanted to go. Luckily, butler had only been driving for five minutes. So when butler got back he asked why no one had told him someone was coming to stay. The only reply he got was your mom told me not to tell you. 


	2. Laura Jean Jammick

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody but LJ, Chickadee, Erin, and ArtyKins. So don't sue. (A/N yes, LJ has to be perfect, but she has to be, she is under my orders!! Mwuhahahaha!!!! She is mine to command!!! Ahahaha! "No she's not!" Gets punched out by Artemis (I see stars!))  
  
Chapter Two, Laura Jean  
  
~Ride to the air port~  
  
The ride to the airport was only fifteen minutes long.  
  
*So, are you sending me you thoughts, or am I reading them?* @At the moment I am sending you my thoughts, but I believe with your mental capacity, you can learn to read them without them knowing. @ *Really.So I've been meaning to ask.what's up with your screen name? * @Oh, sorry, I forgot that you were an Artemis too. @ *Too? Like as well?* @Oh, well, I'm bringing Chickadee, Artemis, That's where I got Artykins, and Erin, but no one can know about her.Please don't tell.@ *What do you mean?* @You will know soon enough. I'm sorry. @  
  
~Ohmbata Airport ~ And then they were there. "We're here." Butler said. "This girl is mute, or at least doesn't talk. But she is wearing bright red, or so I'm told." *Hey, were over by the fountain* @OK, I'm coming, thanks, Fowl. By the way, your Interpol file is the size e of war and peace. Lay of on the evilness. @ *Excuse me? That sounds like an order. As far as I know, I don't orders from perfect strangers. * He thought rudely. @Fine, be that way. But I meant it to sound. I don't know, I guess like advice, or consejo. Well Sorrry! @ *What other languages do you speak? * @Polish, Italian, French, American sign and Russian. @ Then all the sudden she was right there in front of his face. She had long black hair tied into a ponytail, but even with it, it was down to her hips, and she was slightly tan, she had nine big fluffy scrunchies up her arm, she was wearing tiny pearl earrings, dark jean hip huggers, and a bright red tee shirt, but what caught Artemis' attention were her eyes. Her huge beautiful brown eyes and when they locked they melted his shell of icy composure. "Hi," he said warmly as he smiled a genuine smile. "I'm Artemis." Then, almost immediately he caught himself actually being kind and mentally slapped himself, *Thinking kindly and actually being nice are two completely different things.* he thought, hoping she wasn't listening. She nodded, so to Butler she wouldn't seem rude. @Why do you act like being king is a virus? @ *What do you mean?*he thought, trying to sound innocent. @I heard what you thought.@ "OK kids, let's get in the car." Butler said suddenly. @Artemis@ she thought with worry in her thoughts, @Please don't let him put this duffel bag in the trunk. @ *OK, just sign something stupid and I'll tell Butler you said something different.* @'K, thanks Artemis, I owe you one. @ *No problem* 


	3. Chickadee, Erin and ArtyKins, part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue.  
  
Chapter three, Chickadee, Erin and ArtyKins part 1  
  
When they got within a mile of fowl manor, LJs mouth dropped open. Artemis smiled, but only slightly. He took out his cell phone and called Juliet. "Juliet, please prepare a guest bedroom for a guest that will be visiting for six months." "Which one, Arty; in case you haven't noticed we have eight." "Just a second. " *Floral, Jungle/exotic, bamboo, sky and garden, glossy black and stars, primary colors, snow, or traditional?* @Um.sky and garden. Thanks. @ "Oh, Juliet, our guest would like to stay in the garden room." "OK." In three minutes they were at Fowl manor. As soon as Butler opened the door for her and Artemis, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. She ran franticly around. @I need to talk to you! @ *Why didn't you say so? It's the next door to your left. It's my study.* @Artemis. lock the door and look in the bag. @ With that thought, he unzipped a rather large suitcase, and what he saw shocked him. 


	4. Chickadee, Erin and ArtyKins, part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue.  
  
Chapter three, Chickadee, Erin and ArtyKins part 2  
  
What he saw was a dubbed snowflake hedgehog (Artemis, or ArtyKins), a Black eyed white ferret (Chickadee), and a tiny blond baby girl (Erin). *What the-* then his thoughts trailed off. Artemis Fowl didn't swear. He just didn't. @I didn't want to tell you, but I will. the only reason I brought them is because of my mom. Notice how Erin is sleeping? That's a sleeper deeper. @ And with that word, everything came rushing back. Especially how he had been so much of a jerk to Holly. Then he noticed the scars on Erin's body. @I did that so she wouldn't cry on the plane or in the car. @ Then she looked at her baby sister thoughtfully. *But what about your mother?* @She gulped mentally. My mother. Well, Erin is a changeling. So, as you might know, it isn't very good for the child. My mom was abusive to Erin. So I took a few pictures of her being mean to her and of Erin, taped my mom to the wall, and left with Erin after calling the police. I left the film on the kitchen counter, my mom got sentenced to prison for twelve years. Then I stayed at Kate's house for a couple days. There I signed myself up for the exchange student program. And now, here I am talking, or rather thinking to you. @ *But wait, you said you taped your mom to the wall. What was that supposed to signify?* With that she closed her eyes and lifted her hands slowly, and Artemis' laptop began to float. @You didn't think I could only read minds? Did you? @ 


	5. Dinner

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue.  
  
Chapter four, Dinner  
  
At dinner that night, just before Butler was going to the kitchen to make dinner, Laura Jean said, or thought @Artemis, I'm a vegetarian.@ *Don't worry about it.* "Butler, don't worry, we'll get dinner tonight." Artemis said, and then Butler leaned I close to his charges ear and said "Are you trying to impress your little friend?" Artemis merely rolled his eyes, but butler knew the look he shot him, he liked this girl- a lot.  
  
*What else can you do?* @The Mesmer, levitation, mind reading, I also bend spoons, start fires with my mind and I have fairy intuition-it's never wrong. @ @What about pizza? @ she thought suddenly. *Ordering pizza? I thought we were making food tonight, not ordering out.* @I didn't even imply ordering, I mean home made pizza. @ and with that he went into the pantry and got out the ingredients. We made one Hawaiian pizza (minus the ham) and one pepperoni. Then she made a salad and breadsticks.  
  
"Mmm, who know my little Arty and his little friend would turn into such good cooks." Artemis' father said that night. *Thank you, thank you, my adoring fans, no applause, just send money.* "I second that." Butler said. "Me too, say, who's idea was it to have Italian?" "LJs" he said without hesitation. "Hmmm. But as far as I know, she doesn't talk." She mouthed to Artemis. "She can sign, mother." "Yes, I forgot." Apparently unconvinced. 


	6. A little trip

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue.  
  
Chapter five, A little trip  
  
*Come on, I'll take you to the store; and I'll get you some cages. * And then they left, tittering like schoolchildren, or in this case, rather, thinking like schoolchildren. When they got to Jacks Aquarium, Artemis got out and went around the little red focus and opened her door. @ Such a gentlemen. @ *Why thank you.* @Wa-wa-wa wait! You heard that!! I didn't send you that!! Artemis, you're a genius! @ *Thank you, thank you, my adoring fans! No applause, just send money!* @You are evil! @ Then she playfully slapped the back of his head. They went inside and picked a playpen (originally meant for dogs, but in this case for Erin), a fifty gallon aquarium for Artemis, or her little ArtyKins, as she referred to him as, and a three level house for Chickadee, while Laura just kept telling him he didn't have to, but to get it home they had to run down-town and get a trailer, he insisted he get it all for her. *Why don't you talk? There's nothing wrong with your voice. * Then she lifted her head and pointed to a rather large scar across her neck. Artemis couldn't hold back a gasp. 


	7. Chatting with Angie

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue.  
Chapter six, Chatting with Angie  
On the way home she explained that her mother had done that for threatening  
to call the cops on her. One week later, she was in prison. They decided  
they had to tell Angeline. When they got to fowl manor, Laura Jean told her  
everything. First she had asked to adopt her and Erin, obviously her first  
thought was  
@Ewwww.I like Artemis, I would never be able to live my life thinking, I  
have a crush on someone who is legally my brother @  
*I know what you mean*  
Obviously he was tuned in to her thoughts.  
@Get out of my head! I'll send you what I want to tell you! @  
"Mother. may I see you in the kitchen, please?" Artemis asked.  
"Why sure dear."  
"Mom. I don't know how to say this, but. well, I like LJ, and, well, that's  
kind of creepy, you know, having a crush on my sister, don't you think?  
Anyways, how about we wait until the end of the six months, please?"  
@Brilliantly put, Artemis. @ *Thank you, thank you, my ador-* @That line  
was sooo five minutes ago. @  
"Well, dear, we shall wait until the end of the six months to make that  
decision. Is that ok?" She nodded. Then Angeline said, "well, lets see this  
baby I've heard about, and all these animals. OK?" @Yes, Artemis, that's  
fine, but she's taking a nap last time I checked. And about my little  
ArtyKins, he was named two years ago. And not by so called adoring fans. @  
*I'm appalled, you've besmirched my character.* @She mentally giggled. @  
Then his mother interrupted there mental conversation, "You two communicate  
mentally, don't you?" LJ simply smiled and nodded.  
@Yep, you figured us out. Ant you can never take away my boy friends!  
Either of them! You can't have any, any I say! @ *Boyfriends?*@ArtyKins,  
Chickadee and if you're nice, and don't mention you're adoring fans, I  
might just add you to the list. @ *Oh, lucky me* @Yes you are, you are the  
one millionth caller, witch means you are officially added. Artemis Fowl, I  
dub thee, on the list. @ *Yay, mental applause for Artemis!*  
"Twenty eight" Artemis blurted out suddenly.  
"I knew it."  
His mother had thought what the square root of seven hundred eighty four.  
Then they went upstairs and mother had fallen in love with the blond, blue  
eyed baby, but Artemis had taken a liking to the ferret, not that he didn't  
like Erin, it's just that he didn't act all lovey-dovey, although, he had  
held Erin for about twenty minutes. But that ferret was the most playful  
thing he had ever seen, and when Angeline had put Erin down into her  
cradle, Artemis and Chickadee had snuggled in with her. Obviously, they  
were the closest to family she had. 


	8. The ride to the mall

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue. Fowl is Eions, and friends in low places are Garth Brooks and the other song, I'm not sure who sings it but it's not mine.  
  
Chapter seven, The ride to the mall  
  
@Sit back, Artemis I'm driving this time. @ *OK* She turned on the radio to country and mentally started singing along, obviously she had sung this song before or he couldn't have heard it.  
  
"Last one to know, I was the last one to show, Was the last one you'd thought you'd see there, I showed up in boots, And ruined your black tie affair, I saw the surprise, And the fear in his eyes, When I took his glass of Champaign, And I toasted you, Said honey we maybe through, But you'll never hear me complaining, 'Cuz I got friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns, and the beer chases my blues away."  
  
Click.  
  
*What's up with your scrunchies? * She had worn the same type of scrunchies every day, but she seemed to have one of every color. @Well, the orange one, it's the last thing my mother gave me before Erin was born, after that, she hated me for defending her. And the blue was from Kate before I left. The rest I picked up here and there. @  
  
Click. Click. Click. Click.  
  
Then a song came on, with Laura singing along, and I was not paying attention until- "imagine this; get a phone call from Regis. Says do you want to be a millionaire, I go on his show and win with two life lines to spare, Now picture this, Act like nothing ever happened, Keep all my money in a coffee can, I been given more than Regis ever gave, I was a dead man and was called to come out of my grave.  
  
*More than Regis' ever given away? Given? Dead man?* he pondered not meaning to talk to LJ. @Yes, silly, he's talking about he found Jesus. Tomorrow's Sunday, be up at six@ *Uh, OK.*  
  
Please review! Or I will send ArtyKins after you!! 


	9. The Mall and church

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue. Fowl is Eions.  
  
Chapter eight, The Mall and church  
  
At the mall, Artemis must have gone through a hundred stores, but it was worth it, they compared notes and it turns out, she is the notorious Jean Goodall. (When she wrote for textbooks, science magazines, ect.) They ended up buying at least a hundred dollars in books, a new telescope, and spending at least two hours in the pet shop. Who knew that dogs could be so interesting? Then he took her to the science center where they watched Lewis and Clark. Why they had a show on the discovery of America in Ireland, we'll probably never know. Then they went home (Artemis drove) and played with, fed and watered the animals, and Mrs. Fowl fed Erin. Without going into great detail, when a baby is in need of milk, a woman can give it milk, even if it's not her child. To tell the truth he was quite fond of her of Laura Jean. And she had only been here for a week. That night they made dinner again. This time, white rice and soy or sweet and sour sauce, tofu, and sweet potato casserole.  
  
"Laura Jean I want you to know you are always welcome here." Then he leaned in closer and said "especially if you want a job as my personal cook." Them he grinned. "Just kidding, but you are an amazing cook." She nodded and signed 'thank you, I got the recipe from a biker dude in a pink tutu swinging from a rope, Tarzan style, during the filming of Bikers gone bad. ' Artemis laughed once then translated. "She said thank you, I got the recipe from a biker dude in a pink tutu swinging from a rope, Tarzan style, during the filming of Bikers gone bad" "Oh, good looks and brains, you'll go far." Artemis senior said. Mrs. Fowl elbowed her husband.  
  
The following morning Artemis and LJ were both up at seven thirty, LJ feeding ArtyKins and Chickadee, and Artemis watering and tending to his garden. At nine they were on the road and at eleven they were at a church. As he was preaching, Artemis felt a gap in his heart fill. Needless to say, he got saved that day. 


	10. Full Moon

Disclaimer: I don't own, and don't claim to. End of story. Don't sue. Fowl is Eions.  
  
Chapter nine, Full moon  
  
It was a full moon. Artemis looked out his window. *LJ, LJ! Take my car, go to Fargoatha River! Bring Erin!* @Are you sure? @ *Yes I am, dead serious!*  
  
He wrapped her tiny fist around the acorn and sent her a thought. "I tuwhn yehw tuw dah urf ayn gebbac wha myn!" she said all the sudden the magic started healing her various cuts and bruises. Then she had but one thing on her mind; her sister. She crawled up to her and poked her scar and said "Heawe" Nothing happened, then Artemis remembered something, for some thing that had been left for so long, it could take up to a week, plus she was only a tiny farie. It could be up to sixteen days.  
  
its the work of the faries. 


	11. Erins Uncle

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis, butler, Mr. or Mrs. Fowl, or Foally, Root, or Holly (A/N yes, finally, some faeries! Yay!)  
  
Chapter ten, Erin's Uncle  
  
"Oh my gosh." Foally said, hunched over one of his precious computers. "Holly, Root!" "Foally, this better not be a wild goose chase." Root said. "What is it?" "Oh no sir, remember when I told you about my brothers changeling? Well, I was checking on Fowls place and guess who I see? Her! I also see the daughter of the woman she was paired with. Also, I can tell what there're thinking, because both have that tiny piece of metal that we paid sixty pounds of gold for. Well, it seems as though they communicate telepathically. Fowl is much gentler now, the other day we caught him playing patty cake with Erin a few days ago, and LJ, or so she's called and the Fowl boy played with puppies at the mall for almost two hours two days ago, and it seems as though my niece in law is in love with him. Oh yes, and the Fowl boy is saved." "Oh my gosh." "I AM UNCLE THE OF FOWLS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!" Foally screamed. "Oh my gosh." Holly repeated "Look, they're thinking again" then Foally 


	12. Observe

Disclaimer; repeat after me, class, Do I own; No. Do I claim to; No Do I want; Yes  
  
Chapter eleven, Observe  
  
@Come on Artemis, we have school! @ *What time is it* @five thirty, silly@ *it's still the middle of the night. Let me sleep! Do you see the do not disturb before eight, sign?* @you don't have one. @ *yeah, well I was thinking of getting one.* @yeah, right, interesting. come on arty. Get up. I'll let you feed ArtyKins and Chickadee. @ *OK, OK I'm up, I'm up.*  
  
"OK, never would the old Fowl let that Laura Jean call him 'silly', 'Arty' and gotten up because she said he could feed ArtyKins and Chickadee, whatever they are. Let's keep watching, shall we." Foally said. "Yes, lets." Holly said. Artemis jumped out of bed, grabbed a tee and some khakis and went into the bathroom to change. When he came out, he thought; *LJ, where did you go before you came here?* @I went to an all girl private school. @ *Me too, I mean, not all girls, all boys.* @So. are you afraid of going to school with girls? @ "Nah, no way, it'll be a piece of cake." he said out loud. @How much dumber can you get? Lie to some one who can read minds. I know you're as scared as I am to go to a school with mixed genders. @ *Yeah, but I have you.* @Awwwe, how sweet. @  
  
"OK, that does it, why is fowl not being evil? And Fowl, afraid, hah." Then he started scanning the thoughts of the last week. Oh my gosh, Holly. He remembers us, yet he tends to a garden. Go figure. 


	13. Farie and Fowl

Disclaimer; you know the drill, don't own, but want. The faries are Eions so is Artemis, and I'm not the girl is by Rachel Farris'.  
  
Chapter Twelve, Farie and Fowl  
  
"Lets se a picture of the mom." Holly said suddenly. The woman looked like a druggie. She was in prison for twelve years for child abuse. "FOALLY! That woman, she is my grandma's best friends daughter, exiled from the family because she fell in love with a mud man, LJs grandma, I mean, so, hmmm, LJ's an Fourth farie." "A Farie and a Fowl? Odd." Holly said. Root merely stared at the screen open mouthed.  
  
*Do you want to drive to or from school?* @I'll drive from, you can drive to. @ *'K, babe.* @Thank you. @ *For what?* @Laying off the evilness. @ *Oh, no biggie.* @Yes, it was a biggie; the infamous Artemis Fowl doesn't just give up crime cold turkey. @ *I had help.* @From who, Dr. Po? Ha! @ *How do you know about Dr. Po?* @Cameras babe, and by who???@ *The patch.* @The evilness patch? @ *Yep* @But those are like three thousand dollars. @ *When you live in New York, that's not a problem. * @But you don't. @ *I Know. But it still wasn't a problem.*  
  
@You try, you fail/ you make a bad impression I cry, you bail/ sticky situation, I know, you know/ it's your infatuation You stay I'll go. @ she mentally sang without any music. *You have a beautiful thought voice.* @Were here.@ 


	14. School

Disclaimer; you know the drill, don't own, but want. BUT ArtyKins, Erin, LJ  
and Chickadee are mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, MINE  
Enough mines?  
Chapter Thirteen, School  
The looks of the school made both of them shiver.  
*@There are guys/girls everywhere@* (A/N they were thinking in unison, but  
Artemis was thinking girls, and LJ, boys)  
They went into the main office, and got there schedules.  
Artemis Fowl:  
1. Algebra  
2. Chemistry  
3. Boys PE  
4. Lunch  
5. Art  
6. Home Economics  
7. Fencing  
8. Computer science  
Laura Jean Jammick:  
1. Algebra  
2. Chemistry  
3. Girls PE  
4. Lunch  
5. Art  
6. Home Economics  
7. Fencing  
8. Computer science  
Then a note fell out;  
Dear Mrs. Jean and Mr. Fowl,  
I have heard that you have some sort of communication, Because Artemis can  
sign witch is why you two are in most of the same classes. Mr. Fowl, you  
are in dorm number 7893 with Greg Dretly, and Mrs. Jean, you are in 6893  
(Directly below Artemis') with Shannon Huely.,  
Mrs. Morallas  
P.S. we are currently working on signing teachers.  
*Artemis mentally groaned. He had to take PE.* 


	15. Class

Disclaimer; you know the drill, don't own, but want. BUT ArtyKins, Erin, LJ  
and Chickadee are mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, MINE. Enough mines?  
Chapter Fourteen, Class  
Every class went smoothly until lunch. Except for the fact that Artemis  
took several minutes out of there PE time torturing his coach, which  
distracted Laura Jean, and she missed the basket. (In basketball) It wasn't  
that he wasn't good at PE, oh no, ever since the Arctic Incident he had  
gotten one of 'Those Ridiculous Home Gym Systems' and was really quite  
muscular, but he preferred to spend his time plotting and scheming to  
running and jumping. As I was saying, at lunch, a blond and blue eyed boy  
tripped and hid stewed onions flew onto some kids eyes. Needless to say,  
FOODFIGHT!!!"  
By the end of lunch, there was not one clean kid in the cafeteria. Artemis  
was completely drenched in something and LJ had gross green gunk in there  
hair. Everyone got six scores. (A/N in a lot of private schools, a score is  
like, ten scores, 8 hours community service, 5 scores an hour detention)  
Artemis had never had this much fun in his young life.  
Then came art. LJ was a natural, but Artemis was, well, not, to put it  
bluntly. His next class was home economics. He was partnered up with Dale  
Marlins. An amazing cook, but it just wasn't natural for a boy. LJ was with  
Jessica Laurence. Can we say rude? Then, fencing. Artemis smiled, he had  
been trained personally by butler, unfortunately, so had LJ. (Not by  
butler, though.) The instructor separated the boys and girls, then, after  
Artemis had beaten all the boys, and Laura Jean had beaten all the girls,  
they were put against each other. Artemis took a deep breath. he didn't  
really want to do this.  
Bang! Clash! Crash! Cling! Clang! It went on like that for about fifteen  
minutes, then, there instructor, Mr. Poltner, had declared it a tie.  
*Yes!*  
Computer was easy. too easy, all they had done was changed the background a  
hundred billion times... There teacher had ended the class with a quote.  
(This was pretty funny, considering he looked like a guy in a biker gang.)  
".and to see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower and  
to hold eternity." then his voice trailed off because there was no one  
listening, and he was glad, looking smart was hard, and the previously  
written words were starting to come off because he was so nervous. (A/N  
don't be idiots. He wrote the words on his palm.) 


	16. Once Upon A Midnight Dreary

Disclaimer; you know the drill, don't own, but want. BUT ArtyKins, Erin, LJ  
and Chickadee are mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, MINE. Enough mines? (A/N please review my faithful readers. (If  
I have any faithful readers. (Also, to all you who think Laura Jean is a  
Mary-Sue, you will see her flaw in this chapter or the next one. (And I may  
just let her go into a coma in a minute. "You better not!" gets punched out  
by Artemis for the second time in many moments))))  
Chapter Fifteen, Once upon the midnight dreary, as I ponder week and weary.  
  
As soon as Artemis got unpacked in his dorm, he got out Quote the Raven and  
started reading. (He was already near the end) When he was done, he  
wandered of to find LJ or this Greg.  
*LJ, where are you?*  
@Shhh, my dorm, chess tournament. @  
*I'm there.*  
Ten minutes later he was standing around LJ and Greg Dretely playing for  
the championship. Five minutes later, LJ was the champion, Artemis hadn't  
competed, he was too fond of LJ.  
The week went by all too quickly and now Artemis was driving them home.  
*How would you like to go on a picnic with me this afternoon?*  
@I'd love to. @  
*You want to bring the 'rents?*  
@Sure. Why not? @  
So they went to get his mom and Juliet, because Butler surely would not  
have enjoyed it. They brought salad, cottage cheese and peaches and tofu.  
After they ate, Artemis helped her catch some rather cute lizards. Then,  
she slipped on a wet rock, and fell into the stream.  
@Artemis, help! I can't swim! @  
*I'm coming.* with that he threw off his shirt and dove in. Now some people  
say when you're dying, you see things in slow motion, but with Laura Jean,  
it was very different, it was like someone pressed fast forward. (A/N that  
was me using the special effects. Hehehe. Evil me! Me is evil!)  
One moment she was drowning, the next he had his arms around her waist,  
dragged her up and given her mouth to mouth. (Get your mind out of the  
gutter!!!)  
Then she went to sleep and no one could wake her up. They took her to the  
hospital and they said it would be better to bring her to her own doctor,  
the one in Florida, but his parents said he had to stay in school, and had  
taken the keys to his leer jet, blocked his credit card from buying a plane  
ticket in the US. He had but one choice. He got a ticket to Canada, and  
then he had bought a hummer, and drove down America, to Florida. 


	17. Help!

Disclaimer; you know the drill, don't own, but want. BUT ArtyKins, Erin, LJ  
and Chickadee are mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, MINE. Enough mines? HAHA I am the evil author and in this  
chappie I will give Artemis the most painful headache ever!! Ahahhahah!  
Chapter Sixteen, Help!  
  
From Laura Jeans POV (Finally!)  
@Uggghh.@ was the last thing LJ had thought before she sunk into  
unconsciousness.  
"I don't think she'll make it." one doctor said.  
Back to Artemis' POV  
Eighteen hours later.  
When he finally got there, she was barely holding on to life. She looked at  
him. His raven hair was tousled. She realized that he'd driven across  
twelve states to be here. That's when she realized just how much he loved  
her.  
The doctor said she obviously hadn't been to the doctors in years. His  
examination of LJ revealed something; Laura Jean needed a kidney  
transplant; Artemis had the right blood type. He knew what he had to do. He  
asked the doctor how long she could live without a donor. He said she had  
already gone into a coma, so probably four days, tops.  
"Doctor, I think you found your donor." He said solemnly, then they quickly  
knocked him out and seemingly in minutes, he woke to his father in his  
face, with the most painful headache ever recorded .  
"You just don't give up, do you boy?" then he added, "your mother and I are  
very proud of you. come here." he led him to a room with a sleeping Laura  
Jean. She was quivering violently. Artemis tried to send out a feeling of  
reassurance, but it just wasn't working. "You know, there afraid she may  
not make it. I didn't want to tell you." then his voice trailed off. 


	18. Hello 'Darlin

Disclaimer; you know the drill, don't own, but want. BUT ArtyKins,  
Erin, LJ and Chickadee are mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,  
mine, mine, mine, MINE. Enough mines? (A/N I think that I made Artemis a  
little too mushy! Please review!)  
Ice Raider: The @ symbols are just used to separate there thoughts, sorry I  
didn't put it into poetry format, so it messed everything up. And she has  
to seem perfect, for when I reveal her flaw (no, not being able to swim  
isn't it.). And, don't worry, it'll get better, but it won't end with 'and  
they lived happily ever after.' That I can guarantee.  
Chapter Seventeen; Hello, darling.  
Artemis spent the next month beside her hospital bed. He quoted poems,  
talked to her, and just hoped and prayed she would be alright. She didn't  
think that much, and when she did, it wasn't to him, and it was just in  
fragments.  
@Artem-@ he heard one day, but he never really heard full sentences. He  
held her hand and told her it would be alright, even though he didn't know  
that she had heard him. This was torture. It went on like this for weeks.  
They were thinking of giving up. the doctors, of course.  
Laura Jeans POV  
She felt something, she couldn't put her finger on what yet. she was aching  
everywhere, she felt like throwing up, she had a massive headache, her neck  
was sore, but she was alive, she could tell by the thoughts she was  
hearing;  
*Come on, LJ, answer me, Are you there? It's been a month! Hold on. Shhhh,  
it's alright. Hold on. Come on. *  
@Artemis? @ She thought weakly.  
*Yes, it's me. Wait! When did you wake up? I have been tuned in to you're  
thoughts for a month! A MONTH!!! Do you know what that means! Say  
something!! Remember that night!! I'll go get Erin, I'm sure you'll want to  
talk to her, hmm, maybe my mom too.* she didn't know if she could, it had  
been months since she had actually said something. She opened her eyes and  
groaned. Not a mental groan, a real groan. 


	19. A Real Voice

Disclaimer; this is stupid. I am not Eion Colfer. Boo-hoo. I am also  
not the owner of the Steve dude. I am just the owner of this plot, LJ,  
ArtyKins, chickadee and Erin.  
A/N; I think from this point on, we'll use less thoughts and more actual  
words.  
Chapter Eighteen; A Real Voice  
@What!! How did I get here.? I remember .picnic.water.drowning.Artemis!!  
You saved me!! @  
*Artemis mentally smiled. (Steve Erkle voice)Did I do that?*  
"Mother, come with me." Then he led them to Laura Jeans's room. As he came  
in he heard "Helllllo Bay-bah!" he smiled at her.  
"Lift up your shirt." When he got a funny look from his mom and LJ, he said  
"I want you to se the scar."  
"Scar?" she asked.  
"Yes," his mother said, "Artemis donated a kidney. He's been practically  
camping out here; he was so worried about you. They said you would be dead  
in four days; we took away the keys of his Learjet, his credit cards, and  
blocked all his alias from buying a plane ticket to America. He drove all  
this way from Canada."  
"All this fuss about little ole me?" she said. Then she pulled her shirt  
up, and sure enough, there was a pencil sized upraised scar. She threw her  
arms around him and whispered in his ear, "Thank you." Then she smiled at  
him. "I.uh.um.I guess what I want to say is, um.well." @Gosh, why do I have  
trouble saying this. @ "I love you." He blinked. Twice. Then he smiled at  
her. *Ditto.* he hoped she hadn't heard that. 


	20. Under Ground

Disclaimer; I own only the plot, the restaurant, LJ, ArtyKins,  
chickadee and Erin.  
Smiley Face3: I'm glad you like it. It should be easier to understand now  
that Laura Jean can actually speak.  
A/N: Now, more faries. YAY!! Also, sorry for the short chapter, but you  
can't blame me, I updated yesterday.  
Chapter Nineteen; Under Ground  
OK, it can't be that hard. Don't take no for an answer. He thought  
nervously. "Um... Holly,"  
"Yeah?" she said, and then looked at him intently. He had beautiful  
eyes. Then she thought what am I thinking? Oh my gosh. She thought as she  
realized what he was about to say.  
"I was wondering if you'd like to go to Le Repsnire with me tonight."  
He said, then winced, he had sounded like a total moron.  
What could it hurt? She thought. Her every brain cell screamed 'Say  
Yes' but she was reluctant, she worked with Foally. But she liked him, but.  
"I'd love to." Then she smiled at him  
Cha-Ching. Huston, we have conformation of date, send backup. He  
thought. 


	21. And off we go!

Disclaimer; Mwuhahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not putting one! HAHAHAHAH!!! But anyway, I don't own anything. Oh, wait, oh, man. Pretend I didn't say that. Ice raider: Thanks for asking, normally, people wouldn't even try to find out anything, just block me from reviewing, *Looks evilly at person or persons who wish to remain anonyms * and in case you didn't read your reviews, I was being an idiot, and didn't check who wrote I'm back and I was sticking up for him/her, because when I saw the name I thought 'Hey, I liked the Jada Longman story.' I never in a million years would have suspected you to be bashing yourself; anyway, I meant no offence. (And the butler on drugs idea is. odd, but funny) Once again, sorry, Kate Smiley face3: I thought I would get flamed for foaly/Holly. *Again looks evilly at person/persons who wish to remain anonyms * I think the idea is sweet. (Besides the fact that he is like 7'8 and she is only three feet.)  
  
Chapter Twenty One;  
  
Holly looked at her closet; she had three LEP jumpsuits, an old scrub from when she used to volunteer at the hospital, some jeans, and a few tee shirts and of course, the jammies with the frogs with the big puckered up lips and crowns. She put on her dark jeans and blue tee and some tennis shoes and for the first time in a long while, she went shopping. When she got home she got on the denim skirt, the red ruffled shirt and the five inch platforms. Being the type of girl who never wore high heels, she naturally was uncomfortable, not to mention wobbly.  
Then the doorbell rang to the tune of 'Le cucaracha' in gnomish. She stumbled to the door and saw Foally with his tin foil hat on, and had another in his hand, apparently for Holly.  
"Foally, I thought you gave up the hat." Then she giggled.  
"Yeah, well, I had, but then there was an advance in mud-men technology, plus, you can't forget Fowl and his newfound talent." He replied, and then he stuck the one he had in his hand on her head.  
"Fine, if were going to wear these, they might as well look good, I'll be right back." She said, then she went into the house and came back with two red feathers and stuck them in.  
"ANTIDISENSTABLISHMENTARIANISM!!!!!" he yelled all the sudden.  
"Huh?" said Holly, surprised.  
"Did I say that out loud. Sorry, I was deep in thought."  
"Cummon lets go, I got reservations at six." With that they got in his hovercraft and sped off.  
  
~*~ A/N: I have no idea how to pull this off. 


	22. A change of plans

Disclaimer; Own me-no. Own Colfer-yes. AN: Sry, ma bann me frum my ficcy cuz me room messy. Ill post wen me gets back on.  
  
Chapter Twenty Two; Change of Plans  
  
After about five minutes of driving Foaly's cell rang to James Bond  
music. Good old Foaly.  
  
"Hello?" it was Root.  
"Wuzzup, Julius."  
"DON'T CALL ME JULIUS!!!!!!" Holly could hear him from where she was  
sitting. She smiled silently.  
"Yessir, commander, your worship, I gravel at your feet."  
"Shut up Foaly, be serious!" Foaly was surprised at Roots tone.  
"What sir?" The rest Holly could not hear because all the sudden Foaly's hovercraft suddenly went swerving off the road.  
"There is NO possible way!" then his eyes went huge.  
"Root, we can't do that!"  
"OK, give me five minutes." Then he turned to Holly, eyes still huge  
and spouted one word. "Jyuptinalin."  
"But.but...that. is it possible? That has been.but nobody knows the secret. It was only Merlin's line that got to remember, right?" then she recited something from memory. "When fire meets ice meets wind meets water, the end of all destruction. The worlds will merge together once more, but there is only one. "  
"How.where. who told you that?"  
"My father." She said quietly.  
"Well, we have to get Erin." he said quietly. Then his cell phone rang  
again.  
"Hello?"  
"Foaly!!!! What the crap is going on! If you don't give me a strait answer I will personally come down to haven and wring your neck!"  
"What's going on?"  
"Her eyes are glowing bright red, ice, fire, water, fans set up, pupils jagged, oh my gosh, she's under the mesmer. FOALY!!!! I blame your people! And, get this, I cant hear what the heck she is thinking, she's mumbling something, a spell maybe."  
"Foaly, let me see the phone."  
"Uh, sure." "Fowl, you're going to need a lot of light and sound, if you let her go through with this she will be burned while she's being frozen, like the only thing I can think of is a really big, really loud firework." Then she heard the phone drop and heard loud footsteps running. "Holly," Foaly said after a moment. "Your father was in retrieval.so?" "Oh, you mean how did I know? Well, listen up, I'm only going to explain this once." 


	23. Blurry becomes clear

Disclaimer; OH-KAY.. Normally, as the author it is my responsibility to say something cute right now so, here goes; goo goo ga ga. J/K seriously, I only own Erin and Laura Jean  
  
AN: Sry, ma bann me frum my ficcy cuz me room messy. Ill post wen me gets back on.  
  
Chapter Twenty Three; The Fuzzy Becomes Clear  
  
"Holly," Foaly said after a moment. "Your father was in retrieval....so?"  
  
"Oh, you mean how did I know? Well, listen up, I'm only going to explain this once."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"OK, well, first of all, you know about Quirp (Kwerp), correct (nod) well, my fathers name was Ohm. He told my mother, who told me, about what would happen when someone tried this, something about a mumbling sprite, but, as you know, it takes something and you don't remember it, it's like waking up with amnesia, so he gave up his ability to prophecy and he had no idea after that. Only my mother knew what (who) he was. I was told about this, only minutes before he died. And. " her breath was getting rugged now. Darn, talking-even thinking- a bout her father always got her like this.  
  
"Hush, yes I know. Now you, my dear, must go kidnap a young girl."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Yep, you heard me, dearest Julius of ours wants you to go and get Erin."  
  
"One question, Foaly," she said, "How. I mean she isn't really.? "  
  
She didn't have to explain, Foally understood. "No, not biologically. She's the daughter of my adopted sister. A dwarf."  
  
"Thought so. C'mon, lets go, we got us a changling to kidnap.I mean rescue." 


	24. Important

Listen up. This story is getting too gushy and crap. im reposting it. i may put chappies together an make them longer. im gunna make LJ not a farie. and she will speak only one language. her powers will be limited to: mind reading an mind sending (?) Also arty is ooc and i totally spaced on butler, juliet, and some other people. i may or may not keep this H/F. Thank you to all my wonderfull reviewers. Ps. 4 proof of unicorns read isaiah 34;7... also 4 isis; gen. 19;5-7, 1 corinth 6;9, leviticus 20;13. Good enough 4 u?? 


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